Over the past few months, I’ve been thinking about how to steward this in-between season well. How do I maximise this time? How do I prepare faithfully for what’s ahead? And who do I want to become in the process?
More than just preparing for the future, I’ve been asking: What kind of woman is God shaping me to be right now?
With that in mind, I’ve been auditing my life, examining my habits, and looking at areas where I can grow, not just physically, but mentally, spiritually, and emotionally as well.
The Power of Habit
When exploring UI/UX design, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg is often on the recommended-to-read list because it talks a lot about psychology, human behaviour, and mental models.
This is a book I’ve been meaning to read for the longest time, and I finally carved out the space to finish it. I honestly wish I had picked it up sooner. I learned so much from it that I wanted to distill a few key takeaways here (sharing what I learn has always helped me retain it better).
“Keystone habit”
In the book, Charles Duhigg discusses the idea of keystone habits. We have habits everywhere in our lives, but keystone habits lead to a cascade of other actions because of them.
For example, when I’m consistent with working out, everything else seems to align more easily. I naturally want to eat better. I feel more alert and productive during the day. I make wiser choices without having to force them. With fitness as a keystone habit, I don’t have to micromanage every other area of my life. Exercise gently nudges me toward my best self.
For me, though, the true keystone habit – the one that puts everything else in place – is reading the Word. Whether it’s a devotion or Scripture itself, beginning my day with God reminds me of who I am and who I’m living for. And from that posture, I naturally want to be better; more patient, more disciplined, more loving, a better steward.
Forming a habit
This is how new habits are created: by putting together a cue, a routine, and a reward, and then cultivating a craving that drives the loop.
Take for instance, pornography. When a man experiences a cue (trigger), the brain starts getting certain sensations and anticipates a reward. If more doesn’t come, the craving grows until the man searches, unthinkingly, for porn (routine/behaviour). Overtime, the brain automates this routine and conscious decision-making disappears.
Based on what I’ve read, a habit can be summed up as: a learned behaviour that becomes automatic through repetition.
And the key distinction to what makes a habit different from an addiction is that habits are automatic but still under voluntary control (you can stop, it just takes intention and rewiring) whereas an addiction is a compulsive dependence on a substance or behaviour despite negative consequences.
Both habits and addictions use the dopamine reward system but oftentimes, habits solve convenience problems while addictions solve pain problems. That’s why addiction recovery often requires emotional healing, not just behaviour control.
Grasping the difference between habits and addictions gave me a better understanding of how routine behaviours can be formed and broken.
Breaking a habit
Another core concept of habits is this: When a habit emerges, the brain stops fully participating in decision making. So unless you deliberately fight a habit, unless you find new routines, the pattern will never be broken automatically.
According to the book, you don’t eliminate a habit, you replace the routine while keeping the cue and reward. That’s the core principle.
In order to replace the routine, we need to accurately name the cue. The book says most habits are triggered by one of five categories:
- Location
- Time
- Emotional state
- Other people
- Immediately preceding action
Once the cue has been recognised, the next step is identifying the real reward. Once the true reward has been identified, a replacement routine can be installed that delivers a similar emotional outcome in a healthier way. The key is that the replacement must actually satisfy the craving, otherwise the brain will revert.
The book also emphasizes that lasting habit change often requires belief and community. Addictions thrive in secrecy and isolation.
Transformation is reinforced when someone believes change is possible and when they are supported by others who reflect that belief back to them.
Accountability is not about control; it’s about breaking the lie that a struggle must be hidden.
Ultimately, the shift is not just behavioural – it’s identity-based. Instead of “I’m someone trying to abstain,” the deeper change becomes “I’m someone who has self-control.” When the identity changes, the routines begin to follow.
In conclusion
It struck me that the book describes belief as the “secret ingredient” to overcoming bad habits. Community, systems, cues, and rewards matter. But ultimately, real change requires believing that change is possible.
That reminded me of Scripture, of being able to do all things through Christ who strengthens us, of asking God to increase our faith, of trusting that God always provides a way to escape temptations, and believing that His grace is sufficient for us to endure and overcome.
Long before behavioural psychology mapped out habit loops, The Bible has already revealed the intricate design of how He wired us.
It’s always a joy to see science and research echo what Scripture has said all along. When studies highlight the power of belief, community, and identity in shaping behaviour, they don’t diminish God, they magnify Him.
Habits shape our lives, but belief shapes our habits. And when our belief is rooted in Christ, real, lasting change becomes not just possible, but promised.